So, I’ve been working on my one-on-one time/walk with God. I’ve been here before. I’ve desired a closer personal relationship with Jesus for years. So many times I feel I’m standing on the threshold of crossing over to that close, intimate relationship with Him; and then I don’t make it….for whatever reason. I’m giving it another try. I wish I had a women’s Bible study, some close women friends I could count on to hold me accountable. But I don’t; and deep down inside, I kinda think God wants me to walk this alone. Of course, that just may be me thinking that and nothing coming from God at all. I say that because here’s how my prayer time has been going:
I begin praying with praising and worshiping Him. I’ve read and heard that is the “right” way to begin prayers rather than bombarding Him with requests and hurts and fears and whatnot. So I begin with praise and worship, and before long, I’m thinking, ‘What are we having for dinner tonight? Do I need to start bread? Do I need to do any prep ahead of time? What does dinnertime look like with running kids around? Who will be home to eat?’ Then I remember I’m praying here, so I refocus and begin talking to God, apologizing for drifting off. And within a few more minutes I’m thinking about school and getting prepared for the week ahead and how I can be more effective to help the ones behind and keep them focused….Oh, wait….I need to focus…I’m praying here…growing.’ So I go back to prayers, expressing regret again for my lack of focus when suddenly I begin formulating a blog in my head. After several minutes of “head-blogging”, I wrap up my prayer session with promising to try to do better next time. My time is up. I have a day. I have kids waiting for me. I have to get busy. I walk away with little-to-no soul food for the day. God was there. He’s always there. I keep forgetting to show up “whole”. I suppose there is some growth because I do see I need to show up wholly, rather than partially. I need to keep showing up every day….every hour….every minute. Thank you for your patience, Lord. I’m gonna get this, yet. This morning I discovered the YouVersion Bible App. I think I’ll see if that helps me stay focused. All I need to do is ask one of the boys to show me how to install it (aka: install it for me), and I’ll be good to go….if I remember to use it.
Posted in home schooling, life, parenting | Tagged focus, God, Jesus, prayer, spiritual growth | 1 Comment »
As I spent some time alone with God this morning, my heart was quick to realize God’s need for love and companionship. We, as humans, spend our lives seeking love, acceptance, and companionship; when all the while God is patiently waiting to have that intimate relationship with us. My heart and mind have come to this realization before, but my feeble mind often forgets. What I learn from this message again is to lean into Him; spend time every day in prayer, silent before Him listening for His quiet, still voice; and learn to accept His unfailing, unconditional love by praying for strengthened faith. That is my hope and prayer today for myself, as well as all my children. I pray all of you kids will learn to seek Him first in all you do…..every decision no matter how big or small. Lent will soon be upon us. My kids have always given up something for Lent. Some of them stick with it throughout the entire 40 days. Some, like myself, don’t make it more than three hours. As a kid, I would always say, “I’m giving up (whatever I would say….usually sugar or candy).” But those were merely words for me. I wasn’t thinking in my mind and heart about the sacrifice Jesus made for us by dying on the cross. I am slow to learn, but I get it now. I hope and pray my kids get it. I know some do, and some may not…yet. Some may have unfortunately inherited my “slow”gene. However, fortunately, His mercies are new every day. Praise God he forgives us and wants to give us life and give it abundantly. He’s just waiting for us. My Lenten Journey will be more time seeking Him, more time listening for the nudgings from the Holy Spirit, less time seeking acceptance in this broken world, and ultimately seeking to find companionship and love with my Savior, Jesus Christ! Have you thought about your Lenten Journey?
Posted in home schooling, life, parenting | Tagged Lent, prayer, spiritual growth | Leave a Comment »